Not gonna lie, I’ve been in an undeniably depressive state this past week. Each night, I fall asleep praying for that mental “something” to snap me out of it….the same “something” that I swear my guardian angel is sending down on a daily basis that allows me to keep pushing forward and fighting for what and who I believe in. But the last week, I peeled myself out of bed daily, and just tried to survive until the end of each day. Don’t get me wrong, life events have exploded, yet again, and many would deem my state a reasonable response to such happenings. But this isn’t anything new….trust me, the last bit of life has proven insanely challenging on a daily basis. Again, nothing I can’t conquer. So what was the difference this time? Was the situation truly at rock bottom and that’s why I was feeling so low? I laid in bed last night just praying that maybe a good night sleep would snap me out of it and give me the mental strength I needed.
But then I woke up this morning to a realization, or another golden thought from up above. I was in a sinking hole trying to find answers to something that has no answers at this moment – and about 90% of life has no answers. I remember feeling this exact way when I was going through discontent in my job/life plan just a year ago, before we knew that my dad only had a few months left. Now, still dealing with much more serious life or death situations, but it’s that same feeling. The same feeling I’ve helped many friends get through when they break up with the person they’ve built their life with. We all feel this loss of direction on different scales at some point, based on our life cards. But in my severe depression and therefore disillusion, I had found myself paralyzed at the thought that there are no answers. The weight of the severity of my life situation caused me to forget every tool I had learned to get through these times. That’s how powerful depression is, it’s mind altering. But here’s a reminder for anyone out there who needs it:
Now, having woken up with this recollection of former advice, I feel ABLE again. Sure, it doesn’t magically fix everything, but it’s a reminder that we will never have all the answers to how a situation will play out in the future. It’s one scary feeling – especially as it relates to the health and prosperity of your loved ones or even your own dreams, goals, and aspirations as the clock of life ticks on. As terrifying as it is, there are many things we cannot control. Therefore, we must give positive energy to what we can control. Find your purpose in each day and hold onto it. Perform each task to completion or the best of your ability and breathe. Most importantly, just breathe. When a thousand puzzle pieces are in disarray, you can’t just wish them all back together. You have to start a piece at a time.
WE CAN DO IT. Sending out good vibes to all who need them – thank goodness for Pinterest quotes!